Yami VS the Doctor
by Tenku Greywords
Summary: ~LAST CHAPTER!~O.k., here's the lay down, Yami can face the Shadow relem, the Millenium puzzle, and further more Pegasus and Kaiba, but he can't take the doctor? And Ryou can face a formerly abusive Bakura but can't take it either? Only humor can insue!!
1. Default Chapter

A.N. This might be a one shot, but I tried to make it funny. ^^0  
  
  
  
  
  
YAMI V.S. THE DOCTOR  
  
  
  
  
  
"NO AIBOU NOOOOO!!!!!!" there were sounds of breaking glass and the such. "LET GO!! NO!! LET ME BACK INTO THE PUZZLE!!!!!" more breaking glass and the house seemed to shake.  
  
"YAMI GET BACK HERE!!" the little one yelled, running after his darker half. Of all the reactions he prepared for, he hadn't expected this. I mean seriously, Yami. Scared. Of the doctor no less!! It was hard not to die laughing. I mean, the 'Great Pharaoh' of Egypt, scared half to death, or um..um.. um.. He was already dead, sort of.. so he was um.. oh well! He was scared, and that's what mattered most.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yami ran franticly through the game shop, trying to get away form his light, he HAD to. For one thing, he HATED doctors, hated them in his former life, and hated them now; there was no avoiding it. He had to hide.. He had to.there!! In the cupboard!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Yugi sighed in frustration, he leaned against the cupboard. "Yami come out now." He demanded.  
  
"No,"  
  
"Now."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please."  
  
"N-No."  
  
"Pretty please?" Yami muttered some Egyptian curses, and Yugi was sure he didn't want to know what they meant. He smiled and began working on the cupboard's lock.  
  
  
  
  
  
It didn't take him long, but when he got it he pulled a rope form somewhere and got Yami into the car.some how... Very strange.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC?  
  
  
  
  
  
Read and Review, tell me what you think, and give me ideas. 


	2. Round 2! you'll die laughing

A.N. OMG this is too funny! You'll die laughing!!  
  
Yami had his arms crossed as he sat by his light in the waiting room. Yugi had refused to let him go, he even chained himself to him! His light he now considered evil because he had both his puzzle and his own! He threatened to break them if he struggled with him. Hence getting to this. this.. 'place' this EVIL 'place'.  
  
Both owners of the millennium puzzle(s) looked up hearing a loud shout of 'no!' They looked up to find Bakura dragging his light, Ryou into the clinic. "No! let go!' the usual calm, cool, and collected Ryou yelled, pulling on his own arm, trying to free it of his Yami's grasp.  
  
"Hikari!!" Bakura growled.  
  
It ended up a sniffling Ryou on Bakura's lap. The first had a fearful look in his eyes. Yami and Yugi just stared. Then stared some more. Bakura was bouncing Ryou on his knee. How or Why the older boy had warmed up to the younger was beyond them. But Yami sensed a love bond tying them together, like he and Yugi.  
  
Then Bakura looked at them, and he blinked in surprise. "Pharaoh?" Yami cringed, the tomb robber of ALL people had to see him like this. There was a few minutes of silence between them before Bakura began to laugh insanely, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Yami, Yugi, and Ryou stared at him as tears began to come forth form the tomb robber's eyes. This was so out of character. "The Pharaoh! AHAHAHA!! Is...AHAHAHAHHA afraid of the.. AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! DOCTOR!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!" Yami started to twiddle his thumbs.  
  
"Shut up..." he muttered. Yugi patted his darker half's shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry Yami, Ryou ahs to go first anyways ^^" The person mentioned froze, and his eyes became large and teary. Bakura glared lightly at Yugi and began to ounce his light on his knee again. Oh what a tangled mess the doctor's office was.  
  
"Ryou Bakura," a plump old lady in a white nurse's outfit called. Ryou's face was white and Bakura had to literal drag him into the little room.  
  
Yami looked at Yugi, and Yugi looked at Yami. The smaller one clutched the puzzles and the chain. "no way," Yami sank back down in his seat, defeated. He started to mentally write his will and testament in his head, and if he didn't die he was also plotting revenge.  
  
TBC *cheeks are red for trying not to laugh. she can't do it* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA HA!! 


	3. Strip! Oh the horror! Anoying nurses, dr...

A.N. BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!! MORE CHAOS!! QUESTIONS!! AT BOTTUM!!  
  
An extremely loud scream brought Yami back form plotting on how to get revenge on his evil little Hikari. The former all mighty powerful, unstoppable, in general all ruling Pharaoh of Egypt cringed in fear, and desperately tried to summon a sledgehammer in hand to break the chain holding him to his light. Another loud scream brought them both back into sync, and a blur ran past, followed by another one. They strangely looked like Bakura and Ryou...  
  
Yami looked at his Hikari pleadingly, but the little boy just shook his head, staying firm to himself, and his decisions. Yami sank into his seat. "Yami Mouto," Yami paled considerably and Yugi had to jerk him back to reality.  
  
Yami sighed and trudged down the hall. His evil light was going to be the end of him! He swore it!  
  
Yugi and Yami were led to a white room. So white it was driving them crazy. And it was cold!! The nurse smiled and handed Yami..a blanket? "nani?"  
  
"You have to put that on," she smiled. Yami's face immediately flushed.  
  
"N-No way!" he tore the skimpy little thing to pieces. Both Yugi and the nurse sweat dropped.  
  
"Then strip down to your boxers," she left and Yami stared at Yugi.  
  
"No!"  
  
**  
  
The other patients stared in confusion as sounds of screaming, breaking stuff, and a few words of profanity came form room 202. It sounded like someone was dieing...  
  
**  
  
Yami had a pouty look on his face and his arms were crossed in front of his bare chest. "Your Evil," he muttered.  
  
"Thank you ^^V" his light beamed at him. The cuteness he was giving off was intoxicating!! It was inhuman!! Yami swore under his breath. He looked at the ceiling.  
  
"Ra be with me!" he said an old Egyptian prayer form his childhood and held his breath as the doorknob began to turn... and in walked the nurse. Yami let out his breath and she smiled at him.  
  
"I want you to draw some things for me," she smiled, handing him a clipboard with several sheets of paper. The Pharaoh looked at them confusedly. On the first page the right side had 3 shapes; a circle, a square, and a diamond. He flipped to the other page and it was blank. "I want you to redo the shapes on the first page as best you can, then on the blank piece I want you to draw something for me ^^" she smiled and left them in the cold room. A small pencil was at the top of the clipboard.  
  
Yami looked over at Yugi, "Do I have to?" Yami paled as Yugi started to remove a piece and he picked up the pencil, and Yugi grinned 'innocently' then stopped.  
  
Yami did as the nurse asked on the first page. He got to the second page and stopped. What to do? He sighed and began to do a rough sketch of the Dark Magician. It was actually quite good.  
  
Yugi peeked over his other half's shoulder to look at the drawling and giggled. Yami turned towards him. "nani?"  
  
"I don't think a duel monster's card was what she had in mind ^^0"  
  
"Too Bad," Yami put on a little grin. Yugi took the clipboard and put it on the desk for the nurse.  
  
The Nurse soon returned. She picked up the clipboard smiled, and said the 7 most horrifying words, "the doctor will be with you shortly"  
  
TBC  
  
*laughs* believe it or not, this is written from experience.. *Shivers* I HATE doctors. their evil people who like to use their victims as pin cushions!! I swear it!!*a random clipboard is hurled at her head and she falls over twitching and possibly foaming at the mouth* @_@  
  
~Questions!!~ Saiyen Moon Goddess asks; Why are they going to the doctor anyway? Tenku Greywords answers; Well SMG, there are many reasonable answers out there.. Of course I'm an insane and unreasonable person ^^ So I'll just tell you something useful. Here are my answers to quench your questioning mind ^^ *I thought it would be funny *I thought it would be hilarious *I thought it would be interesting *Come on! Yami and Ryou!! It's just too funny! *Yami hasn't had a check up in over 5,000 years.. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Bakura has been um.. Drugged? So he thought he should take care of his little Hikari ^^V *Um. this is for insane purposes. and is from an equally insane person, therefore if insane + insane = Insane, then insane story - a good plot based on experience + existence = Yami V.S. the doctor ^^! It's all based on the logic of... gets into a stupid pose the almighty council of the insane, phycotic, nimrods who go around screaming insane and random things at trees!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!.. wana t-shirt? ^^  
  
~~Tenku Greywords 


	4. Intoxicateing cuteness, wacks and smacks...

A.N. You'll be happy to know there WILL be a few sequels to this.. I was challenged by a person or 2 to do them ^^. I have 1 thing to ask myself. what the hell was I on when I started thinking up chapters?  
  
Yami glared at Yugi, his muscular and oh so hot body was shivering; as they had purposely made it cold in here, just to make him suffer! Those cruel, insignificant, mind boggling, stupid, insistent, perverted old fools! He shivered and folded his arms across his chest. Yugi smiled at him. Yami recoiled at the cuteness pouring form his light. It was intoxicating.  
  
Of course, like all things that happen, the doorknob began to jiggle and Yami's face went white, causing Yugi to giggle.  
  
In stepped the most gruesome, terrifying, and further more, most scary thing in the world. The doctor. He had a beard, and looked like eh was half insane. His glasses hung on the edge of his nose, ready to be smacked off and broken into a few million pieces with a mind crush... Or two..or three.. or a few million.  
  
The creepy old man smiled, his teeth not at all white, and his breath reeking of the torment that was to come. Yami cringed and wanted to run away screaming, but he was a former Pharaoh! He couldn't back down! Even if the man made even Seto Kaiba want to run away screaming insanely.  
  
"I'm Dr. Paine," Yami's face went whiter, and the Dr. seemed to cackle madly inside, like the insane deranged psychopathic nimrod he was! He turned to Yugi. "Please leave Mr. Mouto ^^" Yugi nodded and slipped out the door before Yami could say a thing.  
  
"Traitor," he muttered. Dr. Paine took out a weirdly shaped tool. Without even waiting he smacked it down on Yami's knee. The leg in question jerked straight up, and if the Doctor wouldn't have dodged, HE'D be seeing stars. Yami growled some Egyptian curses and the process was repeated. "What the hell was that for?"  
  
"To test your reflexes,"  
  
"Take a god damned breath mint!" The old man seemed to pay no heed, and just took another tool out.  
  
In forcefully grabbing Yami's head he examined his ears. "HEY!" the spirit yelled, yanking his head away.  
  
"Your ear canals are all clean," the evil man pronounced happily. Yami glared at him, a disgusted expression on his face. Dr. Paine was STILL not done, as he took a Popsicle stick thing form a jar. "Open your mouth,"  
  
"No,"  
  
"Now!"  
  
"NO!" The Dr. seemed to think about it for a moment. He started to advance on the poor boy with hi cold hand. "HE-" the doctor stuck the thing on his tongue, holding it down as he peered inside. Once done, he released Yami, who glared at him.  
  
"I'll check your heart rate now," the doctor took yet ANOTHER foreign object form his neck.  
  
Yami looked at the doctor in question. "na-NI!!" his pitch rose as the doctor put the cold metal thing on his chest, right above his heart. "Take a deep breath," Yami growled and complied. The doctor took the cold metal thing off. "Are you done yet?"  
  
"No," the man stated simply. Yami gave a startled yelp as the cold thing was put on his back. He gave a deep breath and it was FINALY removed for good.  
  
"You evil son of a-"  
  
"Lay down please,"  
  
"No way! You, you pervert!"  
  
It ended up the doctor forcefully pushed Yami down on the inky little white table. The white paper crunching under him.  
  
Yami gave a startled Yelp as the perverted old fool actually had the nerve to start pushing on his stomach! The nerve of the old pervert the little- Yami reached up and grabbed the perverted old fool's hand as it began messing with the elastic of his boxers. "I don't think so!" the former Pharaoh sat up, pushed the doctor away, and had every notion to kill the doctor right then and there.  
  
"I'm all done now anyway," he muttered. His pervertedness being denied. "The nurse will be in to finish it in a minute, just put on your clothes," he left, emitting Yugi, who smiled brightly up at Yami.  
  
"Don't even say it," Yami gathered his clothes, muttering something about getting the perfect revenge.  
  
Once he was dressed, it was like magic, 'cause the door opened emitting a nurse. She smile dup at Yami, her white clothes were so disturbing.  
  
Yugi looked at yami, who was on a chair, his arms crossed as the burse examined her charts. "Cheer up Yami, it's almost over ^^"  
  
"...hn." that was the only reply he got as the nurse, unusually chipper went to the cupboard.  
  
"Mr. Mouto, it say here that your due for your Measles vaccination ^^" she smiled, turning around with the horrifying, scary, terrifying object n her hand. Yami's Body went ridged. Yugi Shook Yami by his arm.  
  
"Yami," The nurse stepped closer.  
  
"AIBOU!!" the Pharaoh took off at a dead run, bolting out to door, only to run into a big fat nurse. He twitched. Twitched again. And yes folks, he twitched once more as she grabbed him, shoving him back into the office.  
  
The former Pharaoh's face was white, so very white as he fiddled with the door, kicking slamming, and punching the door. It was no use! He turned around. Oh the inhumanity! The nurse smiled and Yugi literally sat on Yami to keep him form moving.  
  
Yami again twitched as the nurse readied the needle, enticing him, scaring him on purpose. There was a poke, then, "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!"  
  
**  
  
Yami looked at the pencil the nurse had handed him. Then at his arm, which had, of all things, a duel monster's Band-aid. "After all that I get a pencil? A PENCIL!!?? AFTER FACEING A PERVERTED DOCTOR AND A NEEDLE, I GET A PENCIL!! WHY NOT AN EXHODIA CARD!!!!!!!????????????"  
  
TBC  
  
Yes, there is going to be one more chapter before I make a sequel. You know you want it, you know what it is? REVENGE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!  
  
Yugi and Bakura-*pale and edge away*  
  
P.S This was written on personal experience 


	5. A dark, soothing, and squishy revenge oh...

A.N. Sorry for the wait!!  
  
Yami's eyes glinted in amusement. His prey was sitting ever so innocently on the couch. oh no, he would never suspect a thing. He chuckled; the sugar he had made sure to eat was giving him a crazed/insane look.  
  
Never mix Yamis and sugar.it's a very bad thing.  
  
  
  
Yugi hummed a cute little tune, his cuteness surpassing the overdose limit. It was hard not to fall over with heart eyes. Of course. Yami wasn't affected.. the sugar was coursing through his veins.. MWAHAHAHHAHA! Of course, sweet, innocent, evil, little Yugi-chan did not know this, as he was doing his homework.  
  
The small boy gave a muffled scream as a hand covered his mouth, and pulled him into a warm body. and they sank into the shadows leaving a discarded math book, and nothing else.  
  
*  
  
Bakura was sitting in his light's bedroom. Why? Lets just say he was taking a small nap...  
  
Anyway! The old tomb robber was actually just doing a crossword. He was actually in here because he didn't want to ruin his image. Only Ryou would receive his kindness...  
  
He growled in frustration. "What the hell can it be!!! God damn it!" he flung the book and pen at the wall. After a few minutes he knew he'd have to get it so he grudgingly got up. "A seven letter word for payback. what by the name of Ra is it!!??" he grabbed the crossword puzzle and pen in his hands so tight, if they had mouths, you could hear them scream.  
  
He was so busy thinking, he didn't notice the shadow creep up on him. But he felt the cool rush of air and he turned, just as a needle poked his neck. "Ryou." he collapsed into the 'innocent' one's arms, and a chuckle filled the room.  
  
"It's revenge Love. revenge," so Bakura was dragged off, just as Yugi had been.  
  
~TBC~  
  
Should I leave it here? Am I REALLY that mean?.. Of Course.not! ^^  
  
~*~  
  
A slight groan arose Yugi. He opened his eyes. He was in a dark dark room. Full of dark dark things. And dark dark curtains. And dark dark-  
  
(Yami:*whack* Me: OW!! Fine.. but I was gona say shackles.)  
  
His pretty pretty violet eyes looked around the dark dark room and settled above him were his pretty pretty hands were tied with dark dark shackles-  
  
(Yami and Bakura: *WHACK WHACK* Me:*Yelps* OW!!! Fine!!)  
  
His eyes bugged out. "Y-Yami?" he stuttered, in his soothing soothing voice. It echoing around the dark dark room, and glancing fearfully at his pretty pretty feet, which were also tied by dark dark shackles, and he looked around the dark da-  
  
(Everyone- TENKU!!! Me: *grins* what? *innocent eyes* Everyone: STOP IT!! Me: *pouts* fine.)  
  
Anyway. His eyes settled on the figure next to him, on the other big squishy bed, with big squishy pillows, and big squishy roses. With their nice squishy smell.  
  
(Me:*laughs* I'm sorry! I'm sorry! *laughs* I couldn't resist! People:*glares*)  
  
"Bakura?" The figure groaned and opened his eyes. He pulled on his restraints to no avail, and started yelling curses. Finally he calmed, but didn't speak.  
  
The lights came on and Yugi gulped. "Oh no," By some freaky effects, scary organ music began playing and two spotlights were turned on as two figures stepped out form behind a curtain. They were grinning wickedly, holding identical black and gold boxes. Yami grinned evil as he stood by Yugi.  
  
"Hikari." he said in a scary voice, in a tone that meant something awful.  
  
"Baku-kun.." Ryou said, equally scary. "Ask not when the bell tolls, for it tolls for you! AHAHAHHAHAHHA!!" Then they both grinned and exclaimed.  
  
"Revenge is a dish best served cold!! BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!"  
  
"Be prepared!" Yami boomed. Then both tauntingly pulled curtains around themselves and their partners.  
  
Yami and Ryou cackled madly as they examined their shirtless, shoeless, and chained to bed partners as they opened up their boxes. They withdrew feathers.  
  
Bakura and Yugi's eyes widened. "Y-You wouldn't!"  
  
"BWAHAHAHA!!" they would.  
  
"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!" So remember kiddies. Don't piss people off. You could get locked in dark dark rooms. With dark dark corners, and dark dark shackles. On squishy squishy beds. With squishy squishy pillows, and squishy squishy roses.  
  
(Yami: *whack whack whack whack whack!!* Me: ;_; ow..)  
  
So as our happy little story closes, I ask you this.. What happens if Yami has to get his teeth checked? Or worse.. he has a cavity..  
  
TBC?  
  
Should I really continue this? Tell me what you think. ^^ 


	6. Notice

NOTICE!!!!  
  
Hey all ^_^  
  
I just wanted to let you all know, I DID continue this fic, but I started it new with a new title. "Yami V.S. The Dentist"! So, you can stop begging me cause I'm already continuing ^^()  
  
~Tenku Greywords 


End file.
